Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Booze: Keg Marque



Keg beer…

Alternatively known as craft beer…

·         Is consistently good… it doesn’t need to be conditioned in the cellar of a pub.

·         Aren’t filtered or pasteurised making for a naturally awesome beer.

·         Isn’t flat and warm.

·         It doesn’t look like you're wanking someone off as you pour a pint.

·         Doesn’t take much effort to look after kegs.

·         Is flavoursome, refreshing and cold.

Cask ales like best bitters and milds are different from keg beers. They: -

·         Are all cask conditioned meaning if a pub doesn’t condition it for long enough it’s shit. This happens a lot of the time.

·         Contain finings. That’s fish guts. Disgusting.

·         Are ‘naturally’ carbonated so they’re flat.

·         Can be identified by a large phallic shaped object on the bar or a big, warm cask in the back room of the pub.

·         Are usually served at room temperature or higher.

·         Are all brown and have twigs in them

DOWN WITH CASK!

Nate

*This isn’t a totally serious post. It was inspired by a link that Jeff from Lovibonds posted (here) and Stufrom Magic Rock semi-jokingly suggested keg marque. You’re welcome.

6 comments:

  1. I make cask beer, I don't consider Craft to mean keg, my cask beer is Craft Beer too!

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    Replies
    1. I know, I've had your beers on cask and keg! I was just having a bit of fun with the cask marque thing and the fact that a lot of CAMRA types consider craft beer to only be keg!

      Didn't mean to offend you!

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  2. Quote - "It doesn’t look like your wanking someone off as you pour a pint."

    But surely (if it's a pretty barmaid) this is a negative point for Keg and a plus point for Cask?

    (P.S. Not that I'm discriminating if you prefer a rugged barman wanking off your pint)

    ReplyDelete